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Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009
10:36 pm
So much has changed in the past few months. Sometimes I think it's all good while other times I think it's going by too fast and I'm losing myself. Bleh.

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Wednesday, May 13th, 2009
1:43 pm
So I've been home for a little less than a week and I already want to kill myself. I was kind of excited to come home and see my friends for the briefest amount of time, then once I actually got inside Lancaster city limits the suicidal thoughts started creeping back. Lancaster is a good place to grow up and a good place to leave. Thank god I have four more days before I can escape to the Bahamas! Yay!

Otherwise, things have been fairly good to me so far. The only main thing is being bored out of my mind, jobless, and missing Daniel. I expected all three though, so I'm coping fairly well.

I've been helping out with track for the past few days, feel like I'm going to die because of it too. I never realized how horribly out of shape I really was. Every muscle in me hurts (it hurts to sneeze, that's how sore I am) and I have a gargantuan knot in my left calf. It's kind of funny because I can walk and all, but it looks like I underwent massive amount of physical therapy in order to do so. Gahh. Pain beyond pain. Oh well. I deserve it.

I can't wait for Bonnaroo in a month. I'm kind of excited, no, REALLY excited to be going. I think a couple of guys from my dorm are going as well, so it'd be cool to meet up with them if I could. That would make life easier.

I miss the sun. : ( It looks rainy and drizzly outside right now. Sunshine on Sunday though! Yayayay.

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Monday, April 20th, 2009
3:47 pm
I'm going to Bonnaroo this summer. I'm beyond ecstatic. I ended up somehow scoring a job working there, which means I get to go for free to see the shows AND get paid AND get a really awesome resume booster for my future career in entertainment management.

This summer is looking up to be a good one.

I'm really happy with how I've changed over the past few months. Starting college has put a new perspective on things for me. I think I'm happier now, without having to continually worry about track, GPA, or friends. I get to do what I want to an extent, and be with the people I chose to be with.

I've also met a lot of people who've affected me, and changed me for what I think is the better. Daniel, certainly. But also Rob and Jon Satin. Rob for opening me up into an entirely new subculture of music and art, and Jon for helping me open up out of my shell more, and being spontaneous and doing things that make me happy.

I think moving to the south was a good thing for me as well. I've realized that I'm a northern girl through and through, and it'll take a lot to change that. I say my vowels nasally, I don't drawl, I'm lucky to get a shower before noon, and I hate dressing up every day. But I'm happy with myself for that. I dunno what I would do if I woke up every morning and had to get dressy and wear pearls.

Now, with two weeks left to my freshman year, I'm hoping that this summer will bring an even bigger window of opportunity for me. For once, this summer will be entirely about what I want to do, and not trying to please somebody else.

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Saturday, March 14th, 2009
9:48 pm
Have you ever been in one of those relationships where you know in your gut that everything is wrong and you're going to get your heart broken and it's like walking into a steel trap, but whenever you see that person you forget about all the pain you know they'll cause you and your face lights up like a Christmas tree, and you're so damn happy to just be seeing them with you, of all people, that nothing else matters anymore?

That's how it is with Daniel. It's depressing as fuck, but at least I know that's what it's like. Hopefully things will turn out better than I imagine they will.

Bah. I'm way too pessimistic.

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Tuesday, December 9th, 2008
5:41 pm
I go back to Ohio on Saturday and I kind of don't want to. I don't really belong there. I wish I could just stay here for break, I'm sure Ashton or Zack would let me. I just don't want to go back to my nagging parents.

And I wish I had texting! Bah, I never really noticed how much I depended on my phone and now that the screen went ka-put I'm basically useless without it. Curled into a ball on the floor is what it seems like. On the upside, I have a lot of my Christmas shopping done! Yay me!

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Monday, October 20th, 2008
5:20 pm
College college college. Oh how much better you are than high school. I love my roommate, I love my friends, I love my classes, I love my team. It's fabulous for me right now. I love the weather and going to the beach. Pure joy. I love going to gay bars at 2 in the morning and watching drag shows. I love football games and Sir Big Spur. I love my dorm. I love Bates.

And I cut my hair, I love that too. I love not going home. I love Cola. Immensely. I just love the grand ole' state of South Carolina. And I'm actually really excited to go to Saluda with Chris to watch Marching Bands. You have no idea. This should be a great weekend.

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Saturday, September 13th, 2008
3:09 am
I'm the happiest I've been in a really long time, and I completely think being at USC is the reason why. I'm truly meant to be here.

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Friday, August 8th, 2008
6:26 pm
I leave for South Carolina in a little teensy bit less than a week. I'm ridiculously nervous but at least I know people down there a little better than I did before.

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Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008
1:56 pm
Life is amazing for me right now. Only a few minor bumps but other than that I'm doing really well. The most exciting thing is that school starts in less than a month! slklfg;ladj;ld I can't wait I'm so excited. I've been talking to a lot of people down there and talking to Zach about starting school and how he's pretty much the only person I know down there. Bah! How awesome!

Another good thing is that Brian and I started taking again. Sort of. At least I hope. I just don't want things to turn out like they did last time.

Festival is over after this week but it's been pretty good so far. Woo!

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Tuesday, May 27th, 2008
6:55 pm
I'm finally done with high school thank god. This year has had so many ups and downs. Track sucked, school sucked, coach Henwood died, I got an A in Calculus all year and I finally got to start hanging out with my friends that I've been neglecting for so long. Bring it on college, hopefully you'll be better than the past four years have been.

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Tuesday, May 13th, 2008
6:20 pm
God is a prick who enjoys fucking with people.

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Saturday, May 3rd, 2008
3:23 pm
It's my fucking senior prom and I don't want to go.

I hate my life.

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Friday, March 21st, 2008
12:54 am
I really hate people in general. Too many are idiots and I don't have the time or the patience to deal with it.

On the other hand, I placed 8th in States last weekend in the high jump. Go me!

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Saturday, March 8th, 2008
9:55 pm

We got a foot of snow. Woo hoo!

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Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008
9:46 am
- I am officially going to be a South Carolina Gamecock. I sent in my acceptance on Monday.
- I am leaving for Reno tomorrow.
- I have another week off of school because I have a snow day today and I'm leaving tomorrow.
- I had an awesome Christmas

That's really all there is.

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Friday, August 24th, 2007
10:46 am
Blah, it's been a month. My birthday was good. I got the Deadliest Catch Season 1 DVD's, a new Jodi Picoult book, a frisbee (for frisbee golfing at OSU) and a couple new movies. Overall it was a decent birthday. 

I also went to Florida and went on a lot of college visits and my top choice for schools is...
1) University of South Carolina - Columbia
2) University of North Caroline at Chapel Hill
3) Duke University - Durham
4) The Ohio State University - Columbus
5) University of Florida - Gainesville
6) Miami University - Miami/Oxford
All of these schools are really nice, but based around what I want, USC is the absolute perfect school for me. It has the feeling of a small school in a kinda big city and it's about 10 hours from home which is perfect and I can fly home or drive home whenever I get a chance. Freshman are allowed to have cars, they have a top-notch English and Law program, a pretty decent set of sports teams, the classes are all small besides freshman sciences. The dorms all have A/C and I qualify for the honors program and the real deal is that if I get a $500 dollar grant or scholarship from the school, my out-of-state tuition automatically becomes in-state, which drops from around $30,000 to a max of $20,000 per year. It's just so perfect!

School started Wednesday and I had to miss Thursday for Uncle Irl's funeral. It was a really nice service but it was incredibly sad. Uncle Irl was like a giant teddy bear. I did get to see Andi though and we talked about college and what I should study and all that. She said I can call her anytime if I need help. 

I don't have school today because there's a heat advisory. Since it's been in the upper 90's all week and none of the Lancaster schools have any air conditioning, all the schools let out today. It technically counts as a snow day, but when you have 2,000 kids in a building with no A/C and it's 90 out, it ends up being around 100 in the bigger rooms like thge gym, auditorium and lunchroom. It's kinda nice since I'm already swamped with homework. 

I hope I don't fail this year.

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Monday, July 23rd, 2007
10:21 am
So Harry Potter was the most important thing that happened this week, and so that comes first on my list. I love the last book and the 5th movie is so far my favorite since I thought the 3rd and 4th movies sucked balls. Rory kept on making fun of me for it, but I don't care if he thinks I'm a nerd for being obsessed with a boy wizard but I am. I have spent 10 years with Harry Potter. I remember getting it the first week it came out because Mr. Pieper and the library lady said that it was supposed to be good. I was hooked after that. And now, finishing the series with Harry turning 17 and I'm going to be 17 and he's at his final year and I'm at my final year it was all just really good. I loved it. Love love loved it. Rory and John were passing through Detroit and the talk show hosts were having people call in saying how fast they read the book in. Before they called the previous fastest time was 11 hours and they called in and said I read it in 7 hours and I guess the DJ's were shocked. It made me feel good and Rory and John had fun with it I guess.

Summer's been good. Cross Country had been really good lately. Right now the top five is Dianna, Abbey, Katie, Me and Gina. I'm so proud of Katie though, she's been running so well. The first week in August starts two-a-days and that's when I'll be in Florida so it won't be very fun running down there. I think I'll make Rory run with me. 

College vists have been alright. I didn't like Miami as much as I thought I would and I liked Butler more than I had imagined. After looking at more schools though, USC is starting to become my top choice. They have a decent law program, an amazing study abroad program and the honors program there is supposed to be phenomenal. But I got in contact with the Florida track coach and I guess they're somewhat interested in me because I could compete in the heptahalon since they don't have any heptahletes. I'm waiting for them to call me back and maybe I can get in touch with them when I go to visit Florida. I'm so excited. August will be a very busy month. It's Florida from August 1-9, then XC camp from August 10-13, then Canada fro, August 14-20. That leaves me two days to get ready for school. How exciting!

I have so much community service I should get an award.

Oh, and also. I think I lost something at Rory's house.

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Monday, July 2nd, 2007
8:04 am

This song reminds me of Sam driving me out to the Kennedy's this summer. Which reminds me that I should probably go out there just to get away from Mom and hang out with Megan. I used to think that Megan disliked me, but I like hanging out with her. She's like a big sister. 

I went running today finally with some of the girls on the team. We only ran for half an hour, but not doing anything in a month really shows how quickly I can get out of shape. And it sucks because I won't be able to run anytime while I'm in texas because the whole damn state is underwater. We did hills and my legs hurt pretty badly. The first half wasn't bad, I kept up with Dianna, Abbey and Amanda, then we got to the hilly part and I fell back. For a first run it wasn't too bad though. And anyway, I'm supposed to call Mark Tyler and see if he can work with me at all. I guess I'm going to do sprint training with him during the fall and the days I don't work with him I'm going to go up to Garcia's and train with him as well. I'm just worrying about burning out. before my season even starts.

Texas is going to suck.

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Saturday, June 30th, 2007
11:31 am
I absolutely do not want to go to Butler University. I don't want to go to Washington and Jefferson. I don't want to go to Bethany or Transylvania or Wooster or Wittenburg or any other fucking college that mother wants me to go to. I wanht to go to Florida or Miami or UNC or Duke or USC or any other school down south so I can fucking get as far away from her as I can. She's willing to pay $40,000 a year for me to go to Miami but not $33,000 for me to go to Florida. I don't understand why she's so fucking dead set on me not going to any schools that I want to go to. FUCK. I hate her.

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Tuesday, June 19th, 2007
9:00 am
Greece was miserable. Our first flight to JFK we sat on the runway at Columbus for an hour before we left. Once we got to JFK, we sat on the runway there for another three hours. Then we're told that our flight from JFK to Paris is delayed by another 2 hours and it will leave around 1 in the morning. Then we sit on the runway at JFK again for another hour. In Paris, we obviously missed our connecting flight to Athens and had to sit in the airport for 4 hours before our flight left. By the time we get to Athens airport, it's about 10:30 and my dad and I find out that our luggage is still sitting on the tarmac at JFK. Lovely. We fill out all the forms to get our luggage sent to us, and the Air France people say that it will be at our hotel the next evening. So, we trek around the airport for a while looking for our rental car company and then wind up getting lost in Athens because the rental car man gave us the completely wrong directions. By the time we find our hotel it's 2 in the morning and all we want to do is sleep. We get into the hotel and find out that we had no reservation which means we had nowhere to stay. Travelocity had booked our reservation for November 4th and November 5th, but had charged us the amount that we would be paying to stay for eight days. Travelocity had completely fucked up and we're sitting in a hotel lobby in a foriegn country with nowhere to stay. The doorman at the first hotel sends us off to a hotel down the street which is a piece of shit compared the the hotel we had originally booked. When we get there, there is only one room left which only has one bed which meant that I got to sleep on the floor. Lovely. We get into our new room at the second hotel around 3 and spend the next hour calling Travelocity to see if they can fix the mest they made and promptly get hung up on three different times. The fourth time my mother has already been crying for about two hours now and they say they can get us a hotel down the street. We go to bed thinking everything is okay and then they call back saying that hotel was already full. They do this two more times before we actually have a room we can stay in. We move down a block the next morning and the third hotel is even worse than the second hotel. It has two beds though so we make do. The next problem is that our luggage was not where it was supposed to be. I didn't get my luggage for four days after we arrived in Athens, and my dad got his a day after mine. When you wear the same clothes for about a week, that puts a huge damper on your trip.

Overall, this was the most miserable trip of my life so far, and the only good thing that happened was going to the beach and going to Epidaurus. And realizing that I can read Greek fairly easily. I never want to travel to Greece again.

On the plus side, Rory bought me an amazing ring during his cruise. It's gorgeous. Tanzanite, Australian opal and little diamonds. I liked his mom's some he bought me one. He gave it to me to make me feel better after the trip from hell. He's such a good guy. : )

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